Shirley Thompson's story of Bea
No one seems to
know why her parents gave her the name Beulah, but Beulah Violet Sweet
was born
in Vancouver,
on November 28th, 1927,
to George and Amy Sweet.
Naturally, she didn’t go by that name once she
got into her teens, but
rather had everyone call her Bea or Boo.
She had one
sister, almost three years younger, named Beverly, and they were close
all
their lives, and especially so as adults.
Her father was a machinist and was out of town a lot, so
it was often
just the three girls, living a quiet life in the house of Franklin Street,
near what used to be
Empire Stadium. Bea
was an average
student in school, and a good little girl, and her Dad would take her
and Beverly
ice skating once
in a while and even roller skating at the rink at the PNE. The summer she was
fifteen, she was able to
go to Gibsons to work as a waitress in what later became
Molly’s Reach. It
was surprising that her parents let her go
away, but it was because of the people who ran the corner store, the
Sulley’s,
who had the café in Gibsons, that she was able to go there
to work.
Bea was only 5
feet tall, and she had long, dark hair and a very nice figure,
including great
legs. Throughout
her life, she was known
for loving to go to smorgasbords and being able to eat more than almost
anyone! As an
adult, she always wore
White Shoulders perfume and her family always associated that scent
with her. Bea loved
shoes and especially open-toed high
heels! Her children
always teased her
about clearing the table while family members were still eating and
calling her
children by the wrong name.
The Thompson
family had a cabin at Grantham’s Landing, where there were
lots of summer
cabins, situated up the road from where the ferry now docks at Langdale. Francis and
Julia Thompson had three sons, all in the
navy at the time, which was 1942.
A man
in uniform is a sight to behold, perhaps, but whatever the attraction,
Bea met
Gordie, who was 6 years her senior.
They
obviously saw a lot of each other and continued to do so when Bea
returned to Vancouver in
September for school, as she was pregnant by November.
George and Amy were terribly upset and
wanted to adopt the baby as their own, but Gordie wouldn’t
have it. So in
January 1943, Bea and Gordie got married - she was 16 and he was 21. Their son was born on August
1, 1943. When
they first got married, Bea and Gordie
lived in an old building near Main
and 25th,
in a one bedroom apartment at the back of the building.
Bea was on her own a lot then, as Gordie was
in training at Halifax,
although he was home
when Wayne
was
born. It must have
been hard for her - being
a mother at age 16, left alone so much, and with parents who
disapproved of the
man she married.
In 1946, Bea
and
Gordie had a daughter, and 11 months later, another daughter. A fourth child was born in
1949, so by the
time Bea was 22, she had four children and was always trying to make ends meet. Her kids would say they
all grew up
together! Throughout
these years, Gordie
was back in Vancouver and drinking which got progressively worse. He was not only an
alcoholic, but a violent
one at that, and everyone was a target when he came home drunk. Bea always had to walk on
eggshells and most
of the time she was afraid of him, for good reason, as he was often violent
with her. In the early days, there was no television, so Bea would
listen to
the radio and she loved the music from the 40s and 50s.
They got a TV in late 50s and that helped a
bit when she was alone at night, and she also read and knit with what
little
spare time she found.
They lived in
a
lot of different homes, never owning one.
When the children were very little, Gordie was a bus
driver and they
lived in one of the wartime homes, and they were doing well, but when
he got
fired from that job, they actually ended up living in a motel on
Kingsway for a
number of months. The
school where the
kids went was very close by, which was convenient.
One day, Wayne, Lee and Shirley were walking
to the nearby park and Lee got hit by a car.
Bea, who
was a block away, heard Lee’s screams and came running to the scene. Luckily,
Lee’s injuries were not life threatening, but it scared Bea
that it happened at
all. The family
then moved to a house on
Killarney Street and Beverley, her sister, ended up living down the
street soon
after, which helped as she had someone close by to visit with and to
talk to,
and with whom she could tell what life was really like.
Bea became pregnant with her
fifth child. Gordie
was not happy about this pregnancy and
they fought a lot about it, and he blamed Bea for getting pregnant. Bea tried to abort but it
didn’t work and the
baby was born prematurely, when Bea was 7 months pregnant. Part
of
the reason she went into labour early was because she was suffering from malnutrition. Gordie
was not around much, as he was out
drinking and didn’t give her much money to live on. The children had to be
fed, first, so Bea did
without, not only food, but many other things
Gordie could not
be reached when Bea ended up having to take a taxi to the hospital
where she
had the baby on her own. Her
parents
came and took the children to their home on Franklin Street,
and when Gordie came
around late into the night to try to find everyone, George and Amy
would not
let him come in and made it clear how they felt when he could not be
found. Bea was in
the hospital for about
a week after the baby was born and when she returned home, the baby
remained in
the hospital for another month.
Surprisingly, this baby became the apple of her
father’s eye and had a
much different relationship with Bea than her other children, and they
were
never as close.
In 1956, they
moved to 32nd
Avenue,
off Main and 33rd,
and then they
moved, once again, around the corner, to Sophia Street,
and it was a tough time
for Bea, as Gordie wasn’t around most of the time, and when
he was, they fought
a lot and he continued to physically abuse Bea and the children. All the children were very
afraid of
him. Bea had to
deal with the bill
collectors and trying to provide for her family.
She eventually went to work for the man next
door, who made mops, which was hard for Bea, as she was the main
breadwinner
and homemaker. As
her children grew up
and started working, even babysitting, and later with part-time jobs, they
contributed to the household.
When
the
oldest daughter was in grade 12, age 17, she got pregnant and when he
found out,
Gordie threw her out. Bea
was forbidden
to have anything to do with her daughter, but she did see her and met
her first
grandchild, a girl. It
was late in 1964 and
Bea was a grandmother at age 37.
Bea’s
son got married when he was 23, and in 1966, Bea became a grandmother,
once
more, at the age of 39. Bea
loved being
a grandmother and there is a story that when her granddaughter was
visiting, at
age 3 or 4, she said to Bea “I love you grandma, but you sure
have old hair”,
as Bea was completely grey by then, having started going grey in her
20s. In
1968, the other two daughters left home, after a huge fight with
Gordie, where
he was violent with Bea and them. It
was
very hard on Bea to only have the youngest still left at home, and she
was
often afraid of the abuse. There
were
times when Bea and Gordie would go out to visit friends or his brothers
and
there would be lots of drinking. Bea
was
always terrified of the drives home, as Gordie was often drunk. She never did learn to
drive and knew she had
no choice but to drive with him, or there would have been dire
consequences.
Throughout these
times, Bea seemed happy in many ways and her family was very important
to
her. She loved her
children and they
were her world. She
was always very
proud of them and what they achieved.
She loved Gordie, in spite of everything and
didn’t feel as though she
had any options, such as leaving.
Gordie
once told her if she ever left him, he would find her and bring her
back. He was
unfaithful to her throughout their
marriage, right from the beginning, but she lived by the adage
“you made your
bed, you lie in it”.
Bea’s
favourite
time of year was Christmas, and on Dec. 1st,
every year, she would
decorate her home – even the lampshades!
She loved the excitement and the anticipation and the
get-togethers with
family. Once the
kids left home, it became
a tradition, to make Bea happy, that they would all visit on Christmas
Eve, no
matter what time, before they went to their own homes.
On Christmas day everyone would get together and
Bea was tickled with all the gifts her children gave her and especially
loved
the stockings they put together. She
was
very easy to please!
By 1970, they
moved to New
Westminster,
to manage a high rise apartment building, and having no previous
experience,
the majority of the work fell on Bea. She
was a hard worker and was very
conscientious in doing her job. That
lasted about a year, as Gordie got them fired, due to his laziness and
drinking. They then
moved to an
apartment building in Kitsilano, which they managed for a number of
years. Bea was
always afraid of the furnace in that
building, and every day when she had to adjust a pressure switch on it,
and it
always scared her to have to do that.
Again, Gordie wasn’t around much, and so the
workload fell mostly to her. The
company that managed the building kept
them on due to Bea being such a hard worker and the tenants liking her
so
much.
Bea’s father died
of a heart attack in 1977 and it was a very sad time for her. She was very close to her
parents. Her mother
died in 1981, after first living
with her sister, Beverly and her husband, and then living in a care
facility. It was
another sad time for Bea, and she
missed them both a lot.
Throughout her
life, Bea was a smoker, since when she got married, Gordie smoked and it
seemed
like the thing to do. No
one knew then
about how harmful it was. In
1982, Bea
had a heart attack and it scared everyone, including Bea, who became
very depressed
during her recuperation.
Even though
Gordie actually did some of the necessary work in the apartment
building, Bea
probably went back to work way too soon.
She even shovelled snow off the sidewalks that winter. She tried to remain
smoke-free, but Gordie
did nothing to support her efforts and he continued to smoke around
her, so Bea
started to smoke once more. In
1984, on
July 7th, a Saturday, Gordie came home about 5pm
and found Bea on
the hall floor, where she had died, alone, at the age of 56, due to
another
heart attack.
Bea’s legacy to
her children was her love, her incredible strength and her ability to
be happy
in spite of hard times – priceless gifts.
